02 January 2008

Death Rattle of the Flu

I'm finally feeling better. This morning I only coughed twice and sneezed a few times and then felt ok. (Useless trivia: it is impossible to sneeze without closing your eyes.) Flint reports a similar recovery. However, all is not well. Last night, as I stood at the sink, brushing my teeth, I simply had to cough. This cough induced a sneeze (presumably by forcing air through the phlegm-laden nostrils I've been sporting these days), which itself somehow induced me to gag on my toothpaste. All of which happened whilst I was bent over the sink. As I have been sleeping a lot, lying in bed even more, and just generally feeling sorry for myself, my back is pretty tight. Long story long, because of this hat trick of Barbara Streisands blitzing me with my defenses down, I threw out my back.

So now I am pulling the old-man-heat-pack wrap and once again feeling sorry for myself. I hobble instead of walk, in that sort of weird way where my stomach precedes the rest of me and I inexplicably tiptoe, and I have made it my day's work to find a position in which to put myself that will not aggravate my back, not to mention my sanity. And here's the insult/injury part: I have to read all day (see progress report below), so I won't have the opportunity to move around a lot and loosen the thing up. Poop I say. Poop.


Blogger Jake said...

I'm sorry to say that you have another reason to feel sorry for yourself, because you have been perpetuating a myth as truth. It is, in fact, possible to sneeze with your eyes open. I not only know this from my own research, but also from my own experience. If you try hard enough you can do it. (Proof that it is important to set goals) Now, whether or not you would have wanted to watch yourself choke on toothpaste and throw out your back is another story entirely, but in a trainwreck sort of way, I think I would like to have seen it.

Blogger Bug said...

I would like to kick your ass. As soon as my back can take it, you heartless bastard. Say hi to Shep for me, BTW. xoxoxo


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