I Think I'm Going to Die

Whilst cleaning the kitchen today (yes, I know, hell's all cold and shit now), I found 2-day old fortune cookies. And opened them. One told me my confidence will lead me on. Fine, cool, I need to be led. But the second (horror of horrors) said this: nothing. There was no fortune. Not even a blank strip of paper. No lucky lotto numbers. Nada. And since I opened this one first, it was clearly meant for me. I have no fortune (check my bank account for verification). This could well be my last post, my darling cupcakes. I wish you well in your journey through life. I promise to haunt you if I can, and to give poltergeist-wedgies to Obama to keep him on his feet and stuff. Nothing super ghostie-evil or anything. I have much hope that he will lead this country to peace and prosperity. Even if I'm not here to witness it.

Fare thee well.