Dreams

Sometimes, after I wake up out of a wildly convoluted dream, I feel relieved to regain consciousness. But sometimes, like today, I wake up terrified that I might get trapped in a dream, and as it fades from one to another, I might forget my life as it is now. I might forget what it's like to read for hours on the back deck under the umbrella and feel little drops of rain trying to penetrate my skin. Or forget the people I love, or the dogs in all their ridiculousness, or sand between my toes, or that tingly feeling I get right before I fall sleep, or my favorite songs, or brushing my teeth when they're fuzzy, or holding hands. Or my mom saying ullo'lery. And that thought is unbearable.