Graduation?!?

Since when am I ready to face reality? By dropping the philosophy major down to a minor, I'm all of a sudden on track to graduate in December. Cool. Fine. The problem is, I want my mom to be there. Minus any new-agey shit about "of course she's watching over you because that's what dead people do". How do I believe that I am ok with myself when my mom was the one who always believed in me, and showed me how to to believe in myself from the beginning? I don't want to go through the ceremony without her. I'll graduate, but without MGM I don't think I even want to be there. I hate breast cancer. All I want is to hug my mom again. And to see her hug little Bertie. And her Angel. And eat some good Mexican food from when El Valle was good, and the brothers were there laughing while I was crawling under the table. Goddammit.