23 March 2008

Breaking News

Some sort of explosion has rocked the small town of Lewisville, just outside Bolder. The rumbles stared early in the morning, and reports from outlying areas said it could be heard from at least 7 miles away. Locals said it sounded like a train going through five feet of water. What had started off as a sunny Easter morning turned into a horrifying ordeal for this small suburban town. "I thought I was going to die," said one woman who asked not to be identified.

"I mean, that's illegal in 16 states. And the District of Columbia. It was like something out of a horror movie," a deputy police office said, shaking his head sadly. "I would never have expected something like this..."

While most of the town was hunting for eggs or having brunch, one family saw the devastation firsthand. "I never thought something like this could happen to us. We're a good family. We're good people. We just don't deserve this," Mr. F. said as his voice broke. The looks of disbelief on this family's faces were unmistakable as they surveyed the wreckage. Now they must start the difficult task of trying to rebuild their lives.

One local evangelist church is claiming that it is a sign of the end of the world. Parishioners stood outside their church, having abandoned the Easter service inside. "Satan walks among us!" "Repent and be saved!" they were quoted as saying.

The exact cause of the eruption has still not been identified, but police say they have several leads in the investigation.

More on this story as it develops.

5 Comments:

Anonymous flint said...

breaking news.... the epicenter has been established... a bathroom located in a shabby looking bi-level.... unconfirmed reports suggest that the area is highly toxic... stay in your homes!

3/24/2008  
Anonymous Catnip said...

Is 2000 miles far enough?

3/24/2008  
Blogger Bug said...

You tell me

3/24/2008  
Blogger Altered Egoist said...

More inspiration to stay with you guys!

3/31/2008  
Blogger Altered Egoist said...

Furthermore... My suggestion to you is that you pour concrete into the basement and be happy with your new ranch!

3/31/2008  

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