An Open Plea to My Many Fans

I need your help, my darling cupcakes. In the process of refinancing, one often has to have an appraisal. When you need your house to appraise for approximately $25,000 more than it is worth, you have to do some emergency fix-ups. When you don't have a lot of time or money to do such fix-ups, you must resort to demoralizing tactics. Begging, for instance. Bribery might also play a part.

If you are skilled any of the following categories, willing to make yourself available soon, and amenable to accepting substantial kickbacks, please contact me immediately to discuss payment options.

• Drywall repair
  
• Basic plumbing
  
• Storage solutions
  
• Dishwasher installations
  
• Non-light cleaning
  
• Interior painting
  
• Carpet stain removal
  
• Creative furniture placement
  
• Dog-walking
  
• Sympathizing
  
• Doing anything starting with any of these words
  

Fond regards,
a Bug