10 February 2008

An Open Plea to My Many Fans

I need your help, my darling cupcakes. In the process of refinancing, one often has to have an appraisal. When you need your house to appraise for approximately $25,000 more than it is worth, you have to do some emergency fix-ups. When you don't have a lot of time or money to do such fix-ups, you must resort to demoralizing tactics. Begging, for instance. Bribery might also play a part.

If you are skilled any of the following categories, willing to make yourself available soon, and amenable to accepting substantial kickbacks, please contact me immediately to discuss payment options.

  • Drywall repair
  • Basic plumbing
  • Storage solutions
  • Dishwasher installations
  • Non-light cleaning
  • Interior painting
  • Carpet stain removal
  • Creative furniture placement
  • Dog-walking
  • Sympathizing
  • Doing anything starting with any of these words

Fond regards,
a Bug


Blogger Hoban Family said...

I am skilled in "non-light" cleaning. Name the time. Babysitting is provided correct?

Anonymous Catnip said...

Oh, so Hoban Family's got you covered. Great. Good luck.

Anonymous lint 'n shit said...

I'm more into the carpet stain initiating.

Blogger Altered Egoist said...

I'm good at sympathizing!


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