10 February 2008

An Open Plea to My Many Fans

I need your help, my darling cupcakes. In the process of refinancing, one often has to have an appraisal. When you need your house to appraise for approximately $25,000 more than it is worth, you have to do some emergency fix-ups. When you don't have a lot of time or money to do such fix-ups, you must resort to demoralizing tactics. Begging, for instance. Bribery might also play a part.

If you are skilled any of the following categories, willing to make yourself available soon, and amenable to accepting substantial kickbacks, please contact me immediately to discuss payment options.


  • Drywall repair
  • Basic plumbing
  • Storage solutions
  • Dishwasher installations
  • Non-light cleaning
  • Interior painting
  • Carpet stain removal
  • Creative furniture placement
  • Dog-walking
  • Sympathizing
  • Doing anything starting with any of these words


Fond regards,
a Bug

4 Comments:

Blogger Hoban Family said...

I am skilled in "non-light" cleaning. Name the time. Babysitting is provided correct?

2/10/2008  
Anonymous Catnip said...

Oh, so Hoban Family's got you covered. Great. Good luck.

2/11/2008  
Anonymous lint 'n shit said...

I'm more into the carpet stain initiating.

2/11/2008  
Blogger Altered Egoist said...

I'm good at sympathizing!

2/23/2008  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Ha ha. Bzzz. Goodbye.