They Always Rub It in My Face

Who? What? What do you mean?

Well, my little cupcakes, I have had the great opportunity to be renewed in my grammar snobbery. Gallantly sailing the U.S.S. Learn the Fucking Difference this last weekend (as usual), I encountered such blatant disregard for the English language that, after I openly complained about the lack of respect for language--and what, in fact, seemed to be a full-scale attack mounted against the OED--I promised myself I would remind you all about grammar rules. I have isolated the top 3 instances of which you should be aware how much you're going to annoy me if you misspeak.

1. I vs. Me: I=subject; Me=object. This is a pretty simple one, people. The easiest thing to do, if you're not comfortable with actually learning the difference between subject and object, you lazy freaking pig, is to separate the sentence. See if each makes sense on its own. Which brings me to #2.

2. Its vs. It's: Its is possessive. (Think ownership if possessive is a little confusing as a word.) It's is a contraction. (That means, it is TWO words made into ONE! Holy crap! Since when did they do that?) Guess of what two words it's is a contraction of, my brilliant little brain-babies?

3. Who vs. Whom: Yep. Another little subject/object trickster. Who does something. Whom is done something to. Think he/him. Same usage.

I have faith in you my darlings. Although this weekend the offenders were incurring my scorn and an unsavory judgement on their worth as human beings, I will still love you if you blunder. But a little less. So don't.