12 January 2007

A Little Sickly, a Little Melancholy

But overall, OK, I guess. I've got a lingering stomach dysfunction which has inflicted upon me me days of disagreeable phenomena, culminating in a late-night, 2-hour stint (on and off, literally and figuratively) in the bathroom two days ago. I am still in recovery, but was able to eat yesterday and have therefore regained some of my legendary strength.

Last night I had a dream about my pants. Mister Pants, I mean, that beautiful black boy whose mama loves him. I had somehow abandoned him for years, and I found him later in the dirty snow, old, grey, and dying. I rescued him, carried him back to my bi-level, and attempted to nurse him back to health in his last days. Meanwhile, the Eemis had lived alone, the only dog in a lonely household, spending her days wondering what had happened to her best friend. It was heartbreaking, and I will go into further detail with an acceptable offer of feature film adaptation.

We here in El NiƱoized Colorado are in the midst of our fourth weekend of hell. This time, not another two feet of snow, but instead sub-zero temperatures. I hate winter like hemorrhoids hate cheap toilet paper.

MF told me to put away the credit cards and suck it up. So, no Mexican anniversary celebration. Instead, we look forward to dinner at Applebee's (or Denny's, depending on whether we decide on microwaved entrees or pancakes) and an electrifying round of putt-putt golf.

In summary, I somehow got straight As again (with a couple minuses thrown in there for variety). I think my teachers did not actually grade my finals, but instead evaluated me on charm. And how could I possibly fail there?

Until next time, my little cupcakes.


Anonymous Catnip said...

You've done it again - made me laugh when I thought it wasn't possible. Thanks!

Blogger Hoban Family said...

Procrastionation, a Genuis Hilbug's best friend. Congrats on the straight A's again, I knew you were full of it.

Blogger Hoban Family said...

I spelled genius wrong on purpose.. I did...I swear...honest...really...

Blogger Bug said...

I assure you that my selective dyslexia had overlooked the "typo."


Post a Comment

<< Home

Ha ha. Bzzz. Goodbye.