14 January 2007

Damn This Magnificent Hair!

My darling Violet has requested--even insisted--that I not cut my hair. I have many hairs, you see, and while they are a truly glorious specimen of the human ability to approach divinity (right before being sent straight to hell), when they get too long they become flat and unattractive. In fact, right now they are getting static-prone and actually somewhat floppy (can you imagine a worse nickname were I a teenage boy?). You might remember that last year, or perhaps the year before, I explained that among my (admittedly many) character flaws was the inability to get a haircut. I have since overcome that inability, and now actually enjoy a good chopping.

The time for a chopping has once again arrived. Yet, Violet had somehow begun to equate either sexiness or femininity itself with long hair, and is asking me not to cut it. I loved your long hair he says. But it's annoying me! I say. Don't cut it baby he says. But I want to because it looks all floppy I say. You look great he says. I feel like a dork I say. You're beautiful he says. I don't believe it I say. I will take you to Mexico for our anniversary if you agree not to cut it he says. I agree to your terms I say.

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Ha ha. Bzzz. Goodbye.