13 November 2006

What Kinds of Gods Am I Dealing With Here?

Seriously, what in the universe could possibly have granted me an A- on that paper?!?!! You remember, my little cupcakes, the one last week with which I had no idea what I was doing? God works in mysterious ways. Especially for atheists. Could it be that I am just naturally favored over the rest of humanity? That I would have the best husband, the best mom and dad, the best proofreader/sister, the best dogs and the best mind in the universe? That I would live not on the street, but in a big, (insert positive value judgment here), bi-level? Do I owe this grade to luck, fluke, or inherent brilliance? It's hard to say, my darlings, but with a mere 37 days until the end of the semester, I can actually see the (near-death experience) light (of love and acceptance into heaven. Or actually, into the 2nd circle of hell, where I will spin around for eternity in a whirlwind for my lustful tendencies, or perhaps the 6th Circle where I will reside in a burning coffin forever--depending on which day I take the quiz, apparently. PS. Ani DiFranco is cool and also very weird, she makes me want to be an angry lesbian.).


Blogger Riley said...

you forgot most modest

Anonymous Catnip said...

It must be modesty. You're so modest, you can't let yourself believe you know what you know - even as you write a convincing argument. Or wait, is that self-deception? Pretty handy self-deception, anyway. (Or was it the phenomenal editing which drew from your words such genius? Nah, I'll stick with modesty.)

By the way, Ani did fall in love with a guy, you know, so you're not completely shut out of following in her footsteps. Hmmmm.

In any case, congratulations! The semester is worth salvaging! (Sorry-now go back to work!)

Anonymous Your Best Brighton Friend said...

Again I told you so and again you doubted me. If you were such a genius you would have figured out that I am almost always right!


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