20 November 2006

What I Did Over Thanksgiving Break: A Prediction

After spending most of Saturday napping off the excesses of Friday, I cleaned the house on Sunday and prepared for the delivery of our new bed and the sale of our old one. I discovered that selling a bed is difficult, and contemplated getting rid of a couch, and just having a nice bed in the living room instead, or putting the old bed in the spare room. I reflected that this would create not a room with a bed in it, but a bed surrounded by walls.

After the bed was delivered on Monday, I turned my attention to my homework. Having had yet another nightmare about bad grades (one B and one C), I felt somewhat motivated not to fuck up anymore. I then went shopping.

On Tuesday, having awoken quite refreshed from sleep on the wonderful new mattress, I decided to write one of my papers in bed. I decided to focus on explaining how Dante had created the perfect system of punishment for sinners; every punishment was perfectly suited to the sin. I entitled my paper "An Eye for an Eye" and wept a little bit when I realized the brilliance of the title. I then called it a day and avowed to actually write the paper Wednesday.

On Wednesday, I realized that Thanksgiving is tomorrow and embarked on an mission into cyberspace to find the perfect side dish recipe: interesting, yet still falling into the category of "comfort food." First I chuckled at the idea of making "Lima beans with ham" (actual recipe), and finally settled on something that did not make me laugh. Although I went shopping for the actual ingredients, I instead came home with a couple of bottles of wine. I briefly remembered my 4 papers due after break, but the panic was so intense that I had to block it out.

On Thursday, I alternated having feelings elation at spending time with Germany Cricket My Angelheart Whom I Love, cooking with the fam', and being annoyed that it was November which pretty much means winter. Even if the weather was nice. Then I sat down to dinner and clever conversation, and followed up with a nap, more food, and some HGTV.

On Friday, I hung around until I had finally had my fill of the family, and bid Germany Cricket My Angelheart Whom I Love goodbye, and returned to my bi-level, where I considered all that I was thankful for. The list was fairly short, so I didn't have to spend too much time on it before turning my attention to other things. I realized that it was too late to make any good progress on the papers, and lit a fire. The fire smoked a little bit, and made my nose stuffy.

On Saturday, I decided that I ought to start on my papers. I found that I should have read the Inferno before trying to write about it, and wondered how many points the title was worth. I continued my analysis of Gerard Manley Hopkins, and cursed when my proofreader turned out to have a life.

On Sunday, I wanted to go out for breakfast. After breakfast, I wanted to have a nap. After my nap, it was already 2 PM. Panic again set in when I realized that I had about 10 hours before delirium set in for good. Since the GMH paper was done, I decided to edit it. A wave of relief swept over me when I realized Dante wasn't due until Tuesday, but immediately dissipated when I realized that 2 other papers were due Monday along with GMH. I banged my head against the wall and commenced procrastinating. Violet was distant and not at all supportive of these efforts. At 10:30 PM I finally gave up, went to bed, and pretended that I didn't care about doing well in school. I reflected that many, many students settle for mediocrity; why should I be any different?

I went on to sell used vacuums, intermittently take treatment for varicose veins, and rarely, if ever, wonder what had happened to my dreams.


Anonymous Brighton Best Friend said...

You forgot: Tuesday I decided to call my Brighton Best Friend and talk for hours about nothing.

Anonymous flint said...

don't forget... Friday come back from family festivities & take your darling Husband for another MRI... pending surgery in 2 weeks

Anonymous Catnip said...

Good GOD!


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