13 July 2006

Lies! All lies!

So. This afternoon my darling husband Violet calls me just as I'm about to finish my crossword puzzle. It was an easy one, so I wasn't angry about the interruption of my concentration, in fact, I was thrilled that my beloved had thought of me, yet I could hear in his voice the slightest hint of something unusual in his voice--was it excitement? tension? trepidation?

When he announced that "I have secured us two tickets to a black-tie event tomorrow," my heart tripped on my lungs. Realizing immediately that such tickets are rare, I reveled in the chance to show off my newly reinstated (medication-induced) confidence, and my new self-tanner tan.

My mistakes were twofold. First, instead of issuing an immediate agreement, I feigned apprehension at the thought of schmoozing with rich people. To cover my tracks, I disguised this with some gentle bantering about the schmoozing king of the world (a co-worker of Violet's). My second mistake was in not immediately identifying that unusual tone... It was DECEIT.

--The tickets were not Violet's, they were the co-worker's.
--THE CO-WORKER had offered them to Violet because his wife was out of town.
--Really the co-worker wanted Violet to go with HIM.
--Violet was inviting me out of obligation, hoping I would decline, at which point he would be able to HIMSELF accompany his co-worker.

I was used as a plaything, I was duped, I was deceived.
I am a Reverend scorned. I am free tomorrow night.


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