06 June 2006

Back when I was a hippie chick...

I discovered a universal truth of life: the phenomenon of re-cleaning. It goes like this: after 3 or 4 days, it's definitely time for a shower. However, if you miss this window and have no chance--or will--to bathe, you will find that, in 5 to 7 days, you are clean once again. My theory is that all the filth gets so thick and heavy that it falls off. I have recently tested this phenomenon again, and it proves true.

The only exception to the re-cleaning phenomenon is armpit funk. It may not be affected in the re-cleaning process, and often tends to get worse without getting better. In fact, you may find that even deodorant will not cover up the funk. For this problem you have two options, assuming you are still choosing not to bathe: get used to it, or lean over a sink and scrub yourself. You will likely discover, should you choose the second option, that you get the sink and your clothes wetter and cleaner than your armpit, so I recommend the first option. Also, you run the risk of triggering the wet-enhanced-bad-smell phenomenon. Anyone who has ever farted in the shower knows that of which I speak.


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