24 April 2006

Turning a New Corner

I've been in a funk lately. A little depressed, as I am wont to be, a little overwhelmed with schoolwork and the care and feeding of my bi-level, a little worried about where my next pimple will come from. And with worries like those, it's no wonder that I've started to look for answers. What's wrong with me? Why do things feel so bad lately? What does Tom Cruise know that I don't?
And now, I want to bring you the truth that has brought me back into light. We are aliens who rowed the boat ashore some millennia ago. Before I realized this, I was a 3 on the happiness scale. The Electropsychometer told me so. But now, I am a 10. That's right, my little Thetans, I am dianetically happified. Join me, won't you? Otherwise, you'll never reach spiritual freedom as I have.

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Ha ha. Bzzz. Goodbye.