13 April 2006

Bad Husband, Bad! 

There is no voice of reason when it comes to a woman denied her morning coffee. I would not be mentioning this were it not the SECOND day in a row it has happened: MF, in bidding me goodbye in the morning, cheerfully informs me that there is no coffee made. His rationalization yesterday: there was still some of Tuesday's coffee, and it was begging to be warmed up and not wasted. Today, he claimed that there is no creamer, and this is why I am contemplating retribution.   Since I had to make myself coffee yesterday, going against the natural order of mornings, I was therefore was the last one to use the creamer, and I know that there was enough left to share.  [AND EVEN IF THERE WASN'T, MY DARLING, THERE WAS ENOUGH FOR ONE, AND THERE IS A COFFEE SHOP RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO YOUR WORK] MF warmed coffee cofee leftover thanks to me, dumped in ALL of the remaining creamer, and, I stress cheerfully, said goodbye and left for work.  It was a profoundly diabolical gesture, calculated down to the most minute detail: he had the door closed behind him before I could fully question his odious act. 

Now, as for vengeance, I am contemplating a number of options, including withholding things (doing his laundry for instance, don't be crude), putting a combination lock on the fridge, so I can stock it full of creamer only I can get to, and disconnecting the cable.  Feel free to sound in, I can wait as long as it takes.


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Ha ha. Bzzz. Goodbye.