Die, T-Mobile! Fuck you, Catherine Zeta Jones. Bitch. Liar.

I cannot believe it's come this far. I paid your goddamn bill for the month you said would be free since my reception has been so bad. "You owe us for the portion of the last month you used the phone," you say. "But I cancelled the phone before that, and didn't use it during said time!" I say. "You didn't cancel it soon enough, and that last eighty six dollar bill you paid was sort of a joke. This five-dollar bill is the real one."

I do want to stress, she's right about getting more. You do get more. Pain, discomfort, and rage. Verizon, mon cherie, you never did this to me. I will always remember that.