09 January 2006

In the interim, this damn desk won't sell, so I turn to a new tactic: utter ridiculousness.

BUY MY NEMESIS!

Reply to: sale-123894043@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-01-09, 12:23PM MST


I tried to be nice. I told him, my desk, that I was finding a nice new home for him. He would be able to run free on a farm, or maybe sit in a nice home office with a lovely chair-friend. I told him that his big hutch was attractive, and lots of room for staplers, knick knacks, and what have yous. I told him his work top had lots of space for a nice big screen for his soon-to-be computer friend, his pull-out keyboard tray would make for a great ergonomically-pleased friend, and that his drawers were spacious, roomy even. I told him his particle board was a boon, it made him substantial, and high endurance, long-lasting. This is one desk that would last through the night, I assured him. He was a catch.

And so I put his adoption fee at $250, almost half his original price. Seeing as he is, shall we say, unspoiled, it seemed fair. No takers. And then down to $170. Nothing. And he was hurt. Heartbroken even. And he retaliated. Humiliation is the most motivating emotion "they" say, and now I believe "them," because he did the unthinkable: He. Stubbed. My. Toe. And this means war. I closed him in his room and have put him for sale again, for the dreaded price of "Make me an offer I can't refuse." And I probably won't refuse it, seeing as our love has degenerated into wrath and spectacle.

He is a lovely desk though. Ever so slightly darker than he appears in photos, but we can't all be as photogenic as "Cool Chair" or "Futon," now can we? Come meet him, I'm sure he'll behave in front of others.

This item has been posted by-owner.
this is in or around Louisville/Boulder
no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

2 Comments:

Anonymous Catnip said...

Oh My God! When do you start school?!

1/09/2006  
Blogger Bug said...

Are you saying I have too much free time on my hands? A week from tomorrow. And this ad's getting way more feedback AND actual interest. So there.

1/09/2006  

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