Why I Hate Winter, Part IV, or Punxsutawney Phil, You're Not a Groundhog, You're a Jackass

Yes, you heard it here last folks, we're on the Six Week Plan. Meaning, (and thank you Phil) six miserable weeks of 20 degree (I spell out degree because I don't know how to type that little circle) nights followed by 6 god-forsaken weeks of roly-poly days, all the while thinking to myself, why the hell am I pretending it's only six weeks? This is Colorado. It doesn't get warm here until May. Don't let him fool you! Phil's a BIG FAT LIAR! I am proposing we change the rapscallion's name to Phuck Off Phil. It's fun because it's a different spelling, see? And it rhymes with Chuck.

And, for a nice little contribution to your useless-trivia library, another name for the roly poly is pillbug. I'm sure there is no connection.