Spaceman Spiff Saves the Day!!!

Actually I did, but "Bug saves the day" doesn't have quite the same ring to it really, does it? Anyway, you remember when the Evil Laptop Gnomes struck not so long ago? Well, they did, and it sucked. As fate would have it, I had been the last to use the laptop, although it might better be referred to as "bug you have your own laptop why are you using mine?" And then, it was gone. No farewell ceremony, no cake with too much frosting, just gone. Suspicions hung in the air like some sort of hanging thing. Sideways glances turned into complete head turns. It was pretty uncomfortable. So today MF gets the call that the Evil Laptop Gnomes have been consorting with the Vile Transporter Elves. They joined forces, sealed the deal in an exchange of rotten pixie dust, and sent the poor, defenseless laptop to GRAND JUNCTION. Yes, you heard me right. And now you must be beside yourself, wondering, how did Spaceman Spiff save the day??!? Well, he didn't--I told you, I did. As you may know, I have an uncontrollable urge to fidget, change settings, and in general, mess with things. No, I am not telling you all this in order to come to terms with some innate talent to irritate, I am explaining that even though it wasn't my computer, I LOCKED the laptop before I lost it!!! That's right you goddamn Elves and Gnomes, I had a password, you collective piles of shit, you despicable hunks of refuse, you sorry bastards. You picked the wrong girl to fidget with.