The Story of the Great Flood

Gather 'round children, I have a story to tell. Once upon a time, people thought that the world was round...

A quick trip to Yahoo this morning to check the news, and it seems Kansas will soon be teaching creationism. You were misled if you went to public school folks; the true story is as follows: Noah rode the dinosaurs (bareback) onto the Arc. The arc was almost full, so God gave some of the dinosaurs wings to fly away. They all got struck by lighting, fell into the quagmire of sinful water, and drowned. The rest, as it turns out, even Noah's special favorite, Bibliosaurus, all got seasick and choked on their own vomit, and that's why the dinosaurs are extinct! Amen!

After learning the truth, I see now my whole world was built on lies. So, in an effort to resuscitate my day, I would now like to take this opportunity to list some of my boyfriends. (This is not yet an exhaustive list, and it also happens to be ever-changing. Stay tuned for updates.) In no particular order: Sting, David Bowie, Vin Diesel, Johnny Depp. I feel better already. (I also have a husband, but we have an open relationship when (and only when) it comes to my boyfriends.)